Even under normal circumstances employees’ relationship with their leader is inherently threat–evoking. The overly vigilant and easily–triggered amygdala, which is more sensitive to threats than rewards, operates below consciousness. Speaking to one's supervisor or someone of higher status can often activate a threat response. Perhaps there is always an inherent threat on peoples’ status in the way hierarchical organizations create and value job roles. Perhaps it is also threatening to our sense of control & autonomy having to answer to a boss who may eventually rate our performance against our peers. A study showed that people trust a stranger in the street more than their boss.*
Successful leaders offset this inherent threat by increasing relatedness or connectedness, which can come from identifying and focusing on shared goals, and also by being authentic and open so that people share positive human experiences.**
An article by Harvard Social Psychologist Amy Cuddy et al, suggests that when we judge others, especially our leaders, we look first at two characteristics: how lovable they are (their warmth, communion or trustworthiness) and how fearsome they are (their strength, agency or competence). These two dimensions of social judgment account for more than 90% of the variance in the positive or negative impressions we form of people around us.***
Most organizations are designed such that aspiring leaders strive to first prove their competence and demonstrate their excellence. When fear of the leader develops, chances are the leader (whether on purpose or not) has imposed her strength, competence and superiority before establishing trust. Yet fear can stunt creativity, openness and risk– taking. On the other hand, warmth, connectedness, empathy – these enable trust to develop, open up communication and make way for the sharing of ideas.
So which one is better: to be warm or to be strong, to be trusted or to be admired? As Cuddy asked in her HBR article: to be loved or to be feared? The best answer, the research tells us, is to be both, and in this order: connect first, then lead. When warmth is established first, you are paving the way for a deeper trusting relationship by demonstrating that you are listening, that you care.
“Once you establish your warmth, your strength is received as a welcome reassurance. Your leadership becomes not a threat but a gift,” Cuddy adds.
Connectedness is the conduit of influence.
*Michael Segalla. How Europeans do layoff. In: Harvard Business Review. (2009)
**David Rock and Christine Cox. SCARF® in 2012: updating the social neuroscience of collaborating with others. "NeuroLeadership Journal." (2012)
***Amy J.C. Cuddy, Matthew Kohut and John Neffinger. Connect, Then Lead. In: "Harvard Business Review." (2013)
Aurora Aritao is the Founder of the THRIVEinMIND Leadership Group and THRIVEINBIZ. She works as an Organisational Consultant, Executive and Business Coach & Leadership Development Facilitator.
